I'm realizing that I'm just like every other mother of multiple children that I spent time talking to. It is HARD to balance having a child and preparing for another. I'm going to add: especially difficult when the first is only 9 months old. I'm humble enough to acknowledge that I thought I could avoid the pitfalls of having two babies. And I'm wise enough to admit most of those pitfalls are unavoidable. Let me elaborate...
During my pregnancy with Lucy, I blogged EVERY week after we announced the pregnancy. I either wrote something for her online blog, crafted a letter to her, or recorded details in her pregnancy journal. I have blogged a few times since announcing I'm pregnant with Sprout. I haven't written a single letter to him/ her. And I don't yet own a pregnancy journal.
But I'm completely, head over heels, beyond my wildest dreams in love with this baby growing in my belly. He/ she wiggles to remind me of his/ her presence and I instantly smile. Sprout does most of his wiggling when Lucy is sitting on my belly. It seems like his way of saying that he has plans for his big sister. (Please note: I'm still using him/ her interchangeably. We find out baby's sex tomorrow morning.)
I have wanted to do things differently this time around in order to make special memories for this time. When I had my gallbladder removed, I told myself that nothing else can go wrong. That was enough. There's no way I can possibly be challenged by anything else. Wrong again.
At my 16 week appointment, my midwife shared with me that I'm at in increased risk for pre-eclampsia since my blood pressure went crazy for no reason during the end of my pregnancy with Lucy. I have monitored my BP religiously in order to be sure I don't overdo it. About a week ago, the office called to say that it is now standard practice for all mothers who have such increased risk to partake in a 2 hour glucose screening. I went Friday morning. They called this morning. I failed. No one has officially said the words, but I don't think it could be more official. I have gestational diabetes. Apparently it's related.
I spoke with someone at the diabetes center this morning. I'll be attending a class to learn how to control my blood sugar with my diet next week. And she let me know that I've already been referred for additional monitoring. I think that upsets me most. The idea of an ultrasound every week for 10 weeks is great. The idea of non-stress tests twice a week for 10 weeks might sound fun. But I can tell you from experience, it's more of a hassle. I'm being honest. It's not that it's inconvenient to hear or see a baby. It's just that hard to waddle to the fetal- maternal center two to three times a week to hear that everything looks good. During my pregnancy with Lucy, it also made me extremely hyper-vigilant. It was like I had to know and be an expert at every single thing. Seriously, I think I could write a book on high risk pregnancy at this point in my life.
Jason has been at work all day, but knows what's going on. We haven't talked about it yet, but I think this information will change our plans for revealing the sex of baby #2. With Lucy, everything had such high potential to go wrong, I needed everything on the outside to be perfect for her. I didn't think I'd have that concern this go round. Now I do. I've lost a baby before, and I'm not prepared or willing to have that happen again. So, I suppose some of our family and friends might get their wish. Depending on Jason's thoughts, we might be revealing the sex early in order to best prepare a place and space for our Sprout. Your prayers go a long way. We'd appreciate them all.
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