I have written this six month update twice and it's gone missing. Crazy!
Anyway, the biggest news this month is Colt's first tooth! I can't believe how early it came in. Nearly two months earlier than Lucy's first- yet another reminder that one baby does not prepare you for another!
Life has been very busy, but Colt has kept up with it all. And he's acquired every nasty cold possible from it. He's been to the doctor 4 weeks in a row now. He's having a hard time with wheezing, which is especially problematic with the laryngomalachia. I think we might finally have it under control though.
This month was busy and fun and really a blast developmentally for Colt. He is sitting up very well, rolling all over, reaching, grabbing, laughing, babbling, smiling, melting hearts and generally keeping us happy happy happy!
At 6 months, our big boy is about 19.5lb and 26.5in- he's quite a bit of perfect baby boy! He is enjoying cereal, sweet potatoes, peas, green beans and now apples!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
At five months
At five months, this little guy is just plain fun- there's no better way to describe him. Colt is sitting up on his own now, and for long periods of time. Because he can sit up, he has become much more involved in the daily activities of our family. He is now more than a bystander and he's not afraid to make his opinion known.
This month, we had a major shift in routine. I went back to school- and I have a night class. On Mondays, I pack up the kids and daddy and drop them off with my mom. Grandma feeds the crew and helps with baths before sending Jason home with the kiddos around 8. Jason gets both kids (and often both dogs) into the house and settled in bed all by himself. I'm so proud of him- bedtime is a tall order in our house, even with Lucy, who is a fantastic sleeper. And, Colt still isn't keen on a bottle, so Jason manages to get our little Cowboy to bed without any milk! What?! Luckily, I can nurse C before class and as soon as I get home around 9:30.
Thursday's are different now too. We go to Grandma's house again and hang out all afternoon while I'm in meetings and class. I get back around 6:15, we eat dinner and head home. I'm so thankful for the help with the kids, and Colt is really getting comfortable spending some time away from me. I know that's a function of practice and his growth and development. I'm just so proud to see him comfortable relying on other people who love him and are more than capable of giving him what he needs in my absence! (And I should add Aunt Tiffy gets in on the action, helping with the babies as often as possible!)
So, C is sitting and rolling (belly to back), but hasn't conquered back to belly yet. I think I'm less concerned with developmental milestones with C than I am with Lucy. And I think this has to do with him being my second child. With Lucy, I've always been so excited to see what she does or learns next, but Colt might be my youngest child... so I might never have a baby again. The idea of that makes me want to freeze time. Babies grow up way too fast!
I mentioned that C isn't rolling back to belly just yet. That is completely related to his laryngomalachia, which makes it harder to breathe in certain positions. Colt seems to struggle most on his belly. We are counting down the days to 6 months, as we have been told that is the peak time for complications from laryngomalachia. Only time will tell when we can fully let down our guard, but we haven't had any scares and I don't think we will. Colt and Lucy both caught a cold this month. Lucy had much worse symptoms, slept worse and ate miserably. However, I was so scared that Colt would get as bad as Lucy's symptoms. We visited the pedi, who taught us how to count breaths per minute and explained what to do when Colt's breathing landed in the "danger zone". Luckily, Colt never caught much and Lucy cleared up quickly. Thank goodness they can be at home with us!
We are starting some baby foods with Colt. He loves rice cereal, and tolerates barley cereal and sweet peas. He is really interested in food and drinks, often leaning into whatever someone else is eating. And while his weight indicates no need for food other than breastmilk, I'm excited to watch him explore foods soon. I think Jason and I did a great job exposing Lucy to foods, which shows in her healthy and variable palate now. This go round, I'm confident we can do the same with Colt!
I'm blessed with the two most perfect children ever. They are so much fun, bring so much joy to others, and love each other a lot! I'm lucky to be their momma:)
This month, we had a major shift in routine. I went back to school- and I have a night class. On Mondays, I pack up the kids and daddy and drop them off with my mom. Grandma feeds the crew and helps with baths before sending Jason home with the kiddos around 8. Jason gets both kids (and often both dogs) into the house and settled in bed all by himself. I'm so proud of him- bedtime is a tall order in our house, even with Lucy, who is a fantastic sleeper. And, Colt still isn't keen on a bottle, so Jason manages to get our little Cowboy to bed without any milk! What?! Luckily, I can nurse C before class and as soon as I get home around 9:30.
Thursday's are different now too. We go to Grandma's house again and hang out all afternoon while I'm in meetings and class. I get back around 6:15, we eat dinner and head home. I'm so thankful for the help with the kids, and Colt is really getting comfortable spending some time away from me. I know that's a function of practice and his growth and development. I'm just so proud to see him comfortable relying on other people who love him and are more than capable of giving him what he needs in my absence! (And I should add Aunt Tiffy gets in on the action, helping with the babies as often as possible!)
So, C is sitting and rolling (belly to back), but hasn't conquered back to belly yet. I think I'm less concerned with developmental milestones with C than I am with Lucy. And I think this has to do with him being my second child. With Lucy, I've always been so excited to see what she does or learns next, but Colt might be my youngest child... so I might never have a baby again. The idea of that makes me want to freeze time. Babies grow up way too fast!
I mentioned that C isn't rolling back to belly just yet. That is completely related to his laryngomalachia, which makes it harder to breathe in certain positions. Colt seems to struggle most on his belly. We are counting down the days to 6 months, as we have been told that is the peak time for complications from laryngomalachia. Only time will tell when we can fully let down our guard, but we haven't had any scares and I don't think we will. Colt and Lucy both caught a cold this month. Lucy had much worse symptoms, slept worse and ate miserably. However, I was so scared that Colt would get as bad as Lucy's symptoms. We visited the pedi, who taught us how to count breaths per minute and explained what to do when Colt's breathing landed in the "danger zone". Luckily, Colt never caught much and Lucy cleared up quickly. Thank goodness they can be at home with us!
We are starting some baby foods with Colt. He loves rice cereal, and tolerates barley cereal and sweet peas. He is really interested in food and drinks, often leaning into whatever someone else is eating. And while his weight indicates no need for food other than breastmilk, I'm excited to watch him explore foods soon. I think Jason and I did a great job exposing Lucy to foods, which shows in her healthy and variable palate now. This go round, I'm confident we can do the same with Colt!
I'm blessed with the two most perfect children ever. They are so much fun, bring so much joy to others, and love each other a lot! I'm lucky to be their momma:)
Friday, August 17, 2012
Four months later...
I've been waiting to write this month's update until Colt visited the pedi so we could report just how much our little guy has grown. We scheduled the kids to go together so it had to wait a little later than previous months. For that purpose, this will include a 5 month preview! Woo hoo!
During Bigun's fourth month, we decided to pack up and head out. We spent most of July out of our house. We celebrated the fourth of July at Grandma's house and then spent the night in Nicholasville after watching fireworks at RJ Corman's. Colt slept through the show, but it was pretty late for him.
After the Fourth, we spent a day at the zoo. Colt really seemed to enjoy the day with Grandma and Aunt Tiffy. He really likes the manatee exhibit. And loves to watch whatever his big sister is doing:)
On July 13, we embarked on our first family of four vaca. We went to Nana and PaDon's house for the night. The next morning, we hopped back into the car for the quick and pleasant drive to Montgomery, Alabama. (Sarcasm intended.). After 12 hours and a major meltdown (by Colt and his mommy), we arrived at the hotel.
After the night in his first hotel, we buckled Colt back up for the four(ish) hour drive to Panama City Beach! The condo, sand and waves are a very welcome sight!
During our two weeks at PCB, Colt played in the ocean a little, napped on the beach a lot, and fell in love with the pool! I'm not sure I can imagine anything more peaceful than snuggling my baby on the beach, cool breeze keeping us comfy under the umbrella, listening to the waves and Lucy's giggles as she and her daddy play in those waves. It did my soul good to spend that time away from home and all it's stresses.
We were also introduced to the effectiveness of flaxseed. Mommy might have eaten a bit too much, as evidenced by the major explosion that left quite a nasty puddle in the bumbo!
After a very fun vacation (the first one where I haven't been pregnant in 2 years!), we packed up and headed home. We decided to leave early in the morning to try to make it a one day trip. We expected to spend 16 hours traveling. We beat our time expecting by 12 minutes. On the trip home, everyone did well. The kids became a bit restless near Knoxville, so we stopped at a rest area and had a picnic. That was so much fun! I think we will always plan to do that in the future- there were dogs, trucks and sticks. Those are some of our favorite things! We played and Colt was able to take his time nursing. Lucy dug in the dirt. We all changed clothes and left feeling rejuvenated for the last 6 hours of travel.
Colt has been trying so hard to sit up and roll over this month. He can almost roll both belly to back and back to belly. With the laryngomalachia, he struggles to breathe on his belly sometimes, so we are picky about tummy time. When it's well timed, Colt loves it, though!
Here's a 5 month spoiler! As of August 5, Colt can sit on his own. And on August 16, he rolled his hips all the way over (back to belly), but is still refusing to pivot his shoulders- it is the strangest position! He is very strong, though. He can scoot and wiggle into nearly any position he desires!
On August 17, Colt weighed 17lb, 12 oz! And my little butterball is 24.5 in. tall. He is definitely eating like he's about to just shoot up in height! And I'm so thankful he's such a butterball- its preventing a very invasive throat surgery. Speaking of the laryngomalachia, it is definitely still getting worse and we are still adjusting to the constant wheezing noise. I am just so glad Colt eats so well and has such a pleasant disposition. If he were to stop eating well, lose weight or even become uncomfortable, we would have to consider the corrective surgery. Typically, laryngomalachia peaks at 6 months and decreases in severity until age 2. So these next 6/7 weeks are critical for us all. Your prayers are appreciated and have certainly worked this far. It's a miracle that Colt has not needed surgery yet since his larynx is considered severely immature, and therefore severely impaired.
This squeaky boy is such a joy for us! He is smiling and just cracks up laughing at everything! He is ticklish and good natured about being tickled! His hair is growing and looks a touch redder than Lucy's. Colt still favors his daddy, but I can see some of his momma peeking through (especially when he's asleep).
I feel very balanced as a family right now. I won't pretend to assume I know what the future holds for us; however, I am confident this is whom we were meant to be right now: the four of us. I just hope my baby's baby-ness doesn't disappear too quickly!
During Bigun's fourth month, we decided to pack up and head out. We spent most of July out of our house. We celebrated the fourth of July at Grandma's house and then spent the night in Nicholasville after watching fireworks at RJ Corman's. Colt slept through the show, but it was pretty late for him.
After the Fourth, we spent a day at the zoo. Colt really seemed to enjoy the day with Grandma and Aunt Tiffy. He really likes the manatee exhibit. And loves to watch whatever his big sister is doing:)
On July 13, we embarked on our first family of four vaca. We went to Nana and PaDon's house for the night. The next morning, we hopped back into the car for the quick and pleasant drive to Montgomery, Alabama. (Sarcasm intended.). After 12 hours and a major meltdown (by Colt and his mommy), we arrived at the hotel.
After the night in his first hotel, we buckled Colt back up for the four(ish) hour drive to Panama City Beach! The condo, sand and waves are a very welcome sight!
During our two weeks at PCB, Colt played in the ocean a little, napped on the beach a lot, and fell in love with the pool! I'm not sure I can imagine anything more peaceful than snuggling my baby on the beach, cool breeze keeping us comfy under the umbrella, listening to the waves and Lucy's giggles as she and her daddy play in those waves. It did my soul good to spend that time away from home and all it's stresses.
We were also introduced to the effectiveness of flaxseed. Mommy might have eaten a bit too much, as evidenced by the major explosion that left quite a nasty puddle in the bumbo!
After a very fun vacation (the first one where I haven't been pregnant in 2 years!), we packed up and headed home. We decided to leave early in the morning to try to make it a one day trip. We expected to spend 16 hours traveling. We beat our time expecting by 12 minutes. On the trip home, everyone did well. The kids became a bit restless near Knoxville, so we stopped at a rest area and had a picnic. That was so much fun! I think we will always plan to do that in the future- there were dogs, trucks and sticks. Those are some of our favorite things! We played and Colt was able to take his time nursing. Lucy dug in the dirt. We all changed clothes and left feeling rejuvenated for the last 6 hours of travel.
Colt has been trying so hard to sit up and roll over this month. He can almost roll both belly to back and back to belly. With the laryngomalachia, he struggles to breathe on his belly sometimes, so we are picky about tummy time. When it's well timed, Colt loves it, though!
Here's a 5 month spoiler! As of August 5, Colt can sit on his own. And on August 16, he rolled his hips all the way over (back to belly), but is still refusing to pivot his shoulders- it is the strangest position! He is very strong, though. He can scoot and wiggle into nearly any position he desires!
On August 17, Colt weighed 17lb, 12 oz! And my little butterball is 24.5 in. tall. He is definitely eating like he's about to just shoot up in height! And I'm so thankful he's such a butterball- its preventing a very invasive throat surgery. Speaking of the laryngomalachia, it is definitely still getting worse and we are still adjusting to the constant wheezing noise. I am just so glad Colt eats so well and has such a pleasant disposition. If he were to stop eating well, lose weight or even become uncomfortable, we would have to consider the corrective surgery. Typically, laryngomalachia peaks at 6 months and decreases in severity until age 2. So these next 6/7 weeks are critical for us all. Your prayers are appreciated and have certainly worked this far. It's a miracle that Colt has not needed surgery yet since his larynx is considered severely immature, and therefore severely impaired.
This squeaky boy is such a joy for us! He is smiling and just cracks up laughing at everything! He is ticklish and good natured about being tickled! His hair is growing and looks a touch redder than Lucy's. Colt still favors his daddy, but I can see some of his momma peeking through (especially when he's asleep).
I feel very balanced as a family right now. I won't pretend to assume I know what the future holds for us; however, I am confident this is whom we were meant to be right now: the four of us. I just hope my baby's baby-ness doesn't disappear too quickly!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Colt's Quarter Year BDay!
Three months went fast! I read once that children make days move slower than ever and years pass in the blink of an eye. I must agree.
Some days are still rough. That's the case with any baby. Add a toddler to the mix, and you have yourself an (I need a cocktail) party!
Colt is growing like a darn weed! He weighs about 15lbs and I'll guess and say he's about 24 in. tall? Maybe longer. It's hard to get hung up on stuff like that with two babies.
Not only growing in size, an awesome little personality is becoming in my little man. Smiling started months ago, but now Colt is giving full out belly laughs. He is quite ticklish and loves for Momma to tickle his belly and sides. He enjoys chatting, kicking anything and anyone, and mostly loves to be around his big sister. Seriously, Colt is just in love with Lucy. He adores watching her play, likes sitting with her, calms whenever he finds her through his tears. Not many people have someone who provides such comfort and constant like Lucy does for Colt- and as Colt will eventually provide for Lucy. I'm just so glad they have one another.
Life with laryngomalachia is unique. Luckily, we were able to visit the ENT this month, note that Colt continues to have no symptoms (except severe wheezing some days), and have been released from follow up visitation. We were told that we should call to bring him back in to see Dr. W immediately if anything changes- and of course, we have to watch him vigilantly for signs that he isn't getting enough oxygen. If his feet or hands start to look blue, we have to head to the ER immediately. (Much like any other person would do!)
And some days are harder than others. Jason and I both seem to know what conditions will make breathing harder for Colt. It's quite a learning experience though.
We visited Central baptist quite a few times this month. Unemployment has a couple of perks and we're relishing them all! On one trip to church, we had an awful time at an outdoor picnic. I had no idea the weather would be so warm, the air so thick, breathing difficult for someone with a regular larynx. Colt screamed in pain, sucked in air harder and harder, and just plain fought me any time we stepped foot outside. We decided then that he would not be out in 90+ degree heat again. This new rule has canceled a few plans for zoo trips or pool days, but it's worth it to keep Colt out of the hospital.
Another uniqueness of life with laryngomalachia is tummy time. I dont know many babies who enjoy tummy time; however, Colt loves being on his tummy... sometimes. He either stays in tummy time for quite a while, playing and scooting around the mat... or... screams his head off, irritating his larynx, making himself vomit and wheeze and turn all sorts of red. Just like any child, life with Colt is a matter of interpreting moods and feelings. Sometimes I get it right... other times...
Colt has also started to use the bumbo more this month. I made Lucy wait until 4 months to sit up in it, but Colt took to it around 2 months (they were roughly the same size at those times). Colt spends time everyday playing from his seat. And when he isn't using it, Lucy likes to make us laugh by plopping down in it. Colt received a new little piano from his grandma this week. He loves to swap at it, grab ahold, listen to the music and let it go so he can kick at it.
In addition to the ENT and church, we also went to the zoo, Lexington Explorium, the aquarium, Totters otter ville, Storytime at the library and Joseph Beth... I think the aquarium has been his favorite though. It's a nice indoor activity, with fun things to see and experience. Though, we did go to the zoo one morning and left at lunch. The temp only hit 70 as we left- since it was so nice (and empty at the zoo), Colt enjoyed strolling through the zoo and stopping as needed to nurse without sweating!
Despite the whole breathing issue, Colt has moved out of momma's room and into his own space. He actually slept in there for a week or so before we learned about the laryngomalachia. At 3 months, we have moved both kids. Lucy slept in her crib then, but we have kept Colt in his bassinet- the fisher price rock and play sleeper. It's an inclined little chair/ bed that helps Colt sleep soundly (whereas he struggles to breathe flat on his back).
Before we moved him, we perfected the nighttime routine. Colt is now sleeping swaddled with an old iPhone playing white noise (rain on a car to be exact) all night. He falls asleep with his Cloud B sleepy giraffe on, it sounds like a heartbeat. 45 minutes of that nearly puts me to sleep too. However, most nights that combo keeps Colt asleep from 8pm until 4-5am, and then until 8am or whenever Lucy demands we get up:)
All in all, things are going wonderfully at our house. We are gearing up for the big Colliver family vacation. This will be the first time Colt visits panama city beach and stays at his grandparents condo. It'll be the first time either of our kids experience a big family trip like this. Neither of them will likely remember this trip, but the photos will be awesome! And maybe I'll get a nap!
Some days are still rough. That's the case with any baby. Add a toddler to the mix, and you have yourself an (I need a cocktail) party!
Colt is growing like a darn weed! He weighs about 15lbs and I'll guess and say he's about 24 in. tall? Maybe longer. It's hard to get hung up on stuff like that with two babies.
Not only growing in size, an awesome little personality is becoming in my little man. Smiling started months ago, but now Colt is giving full out belly laughs. He is quite ticklish and loves for Momma to tickle his belly and sides. He enjoys chatting, kicking anything and anyone, and mostly loves to be around his big sister. Seriously, Colt is just in love with Lucy. He adores watching her play, likes sitting with her, calms whenever he finds her through his tears. Not many people have someone who provides such comfort and constant like Lucy does for Colt- and as Colt will eventually provide for Lucy. I'm just so glad they have one another.
Life with laryngomalachia is unique. Luckily, we were able to visit the ENT this month, note that Colt continues to have no symptoms (except severe wheezing some days), and have been released from follow up visitation. We were told that we should call to bring him back in to see Dr. W immediately if anything changes- and of course, we have to watch him vigilantly for signs that he isn't getting enough oxygen. If his feet or hands start to look blue, we have to head to the ER immediately. (Much like any other person would do!)
And some days are harder than others. Jason and I both seem to know what conditions will make breathing harder for Colt. It's quite a learning experience though.
We visited Central baptist quite a few times this month. Unemployment has a couple of perks and we're relishing them all! On one trip to church, we had an awful time at an outdoor picnic. I had no idea the weather would be so warm, the air so thick, breathing difficult for someone with a regular larynx. Colt screamed in pain, sucked in air harder and harder, and just plain fought me any time we stepped foot outside. We decided then that he would not be out in 90+ degree heat again. This new rule has canceled a few plans for zoo trips or pool days, but it's worth it to keep Colt out of the hospital.
Another uniqueness of life with laryngomalachia is tummy time. I dont know many babies who enjoy tummy time; however, Colt loves being on his tummy... sometimes. He either stays in tummy time for quite a while, playing and scooting around the mat... or... screams his head off, irritating his larynx, making himself vomit and wheeze and turn all sorts of red. Just like any child, life with Colt is a matter of interpreting moods and feelings. Sometimes I get it right... other times...
Colt has also started to use the bumbo more this month. I made Lucy wait until 4 months to sit up in it, but Colt took to it around 2 months (they were roughly the same size at those times). Colt spends time everyday playing from his seat. And when he isn't using it, Lucy likes to make us laugh by plopping down in it. Colt received a new little piano from his grandma this week. He loves to swap at it, grab ahold, listen to the music and let it go so he can kick at it.
In addition to the ENT and church, we also went to the zoo, Lexington Explorium, the aquarium, Totters otter ville, Storytime at the library and Joseph Beth... I think the aquarium has been his favorite though. It's a nice indoor activity, with fun things to see and experience. Though, we did go to the zoo one morning and left at lunch. The temp only hit 70 as we left- since it was so nice (and empty at the zoo), Colt enjoyed strolling through the zoo and stopping as needed to nurse without sweating!
Despite the whole breathing issue, Colt has moved out of momma's room and into his own space. He actually slept in there for a week or so before we learned about the laryngomalachia. At 3 months, we have moved both kids. Lucy slept in her crib then, but we have kept Colt in his bassinet- the fisher price rock and play sleeper. It's an inclined little chair/ bed that helps Colt sleep soundly (whereas he struggles to breathe flat on his back).
Before we moved him, we perfected the nighttime routine. Colt is now sleeping swaddled with an old iPhone playing white noise (rain on a car to be exact) all night. He falls asleep with his Cloud B sleepy giraffe on, it sounds like a heartbeat. 45 minutes of that nearly puts me to sleep too. However, most nights that combo keeps Colt asleep from 8pm until 4-5am, and then until 8am or whenever Lucy demands we get up:)
All in all, things are going wonderfully at our house. We are gearing up for the big Colliver family vacation. This will be the first time Colt visits panama city beach and stays at his grandparents condo. It'll be the first time either of our kids experience a big family trip like this. Neither of them will likely remember this trip, but the photos will be awesome! And maybe I'll get a nap!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Colt's Second Month
Many things have happened this month. Colt is growing bigger and bigger... No kidding he'll be in 6 month sized clothes before he's three months old. He's wearing a bunch of them now! (I'll put in how big he actually is once we see the doctor for his 2 month check up on Friday. -Update: 13lbs, 21 3/4 in)
Colt has started to giggle, smile when he recognizes people other than mommy and is even starting to sit up supported. He enjoys the play mat and bumbo! Loooooves mirrors and his sister. Is enjoying naps with Daddy.
Colt is eating every 2-3 hours during the day. I'm mostly still feeding on demand. I figure it's a benefit of being home and he has his own little schedule so I try to go along with it as much as possible.
This month can be defined in one word: scary! We learned about laryngomalachia- who knew we'd be on first name basis with a pediatric ENT?! At Colt's follow up visit, it was decided that surgery is unnecessary. He isn't any louder and he continues to gain weight well. We visit again at the end of June. The Prevacid seems to be working well though and all around we have less fussing, better feedings and easier breathing! What wonderful improvements:)
This month was also scary because Jason's position with Maronda Homes was eliminated, so he was terminated with only 8 hours notice. I still don't know how my husband had the wherewithal to drive home alone for 30 minutes knowing he had news that would devastate me and really challenge our family. But we are getting through this together and with the help of our parents and the grace of our God. There are so many lessons that I hope Colt and Lucy learn as a result of this experience. I hope they learn to live simply. This has been our greatest adjustment. Clothes on the line. Dishes by hand. Windows open. We have always done these things to some extent. I love laundry that's been warmed in the sun and scented by a cool breeze. The first time I lived somewhere with a dishwasher, I was 22. We can live simply, save money an d maintain our quality of life. That's what I hope my kids remember about this time in our life and practice later in their own.
Also, I want my children to understand that bank accounts can be filled, stomachs can be bloated with food, houses can be huge and full of belongings, but joy isn't promised to those with things. Joy is within. Financially, we're being extremely conservative and attempting to prevent a long term fall out. We're going to need to eat from our own garden more than normal this year. And we're probably going to need to get rid of some belongings. But we are full of joy because we are together, we have help, and we have been blessed with the love of a family. And not just any family, but a family created by God, who knew this would happen, who provided for us before it occurred, and who walks with us as we navigate through it.
Colt,
You make me rich.
Never in my life have I prayed to be wealthy. Never have I prayed that I'd never need help. Never did I ask God to give me things.
But I begged and pleaded to have you and Lucy.
The Lord answered the desire of my heart. We have no reason to live in fear, no matter how scary life gets, because we have been given to one another. Baby boy, remember that your family will always keep you safe and protected, just as God intended.
All my love,
Momma
Colt has started to giggle, smile when he recognizes people other than mommy and is even starting to sit up supported. He enjoys the play mat and bumbo! Loooooves mirrors and his sister. Is enjoying naps with Daddy.
Colt is eating every 2-3 hours during the day. I'm mostly still feeding on demand. I figure it's a benefit of being home and he has his own little schedule so I try to go along with it as much as possible.
This month can be defined in one word: scary! We learned about laryngomalachia- who knew we'd be on first name basis with a pediatric ENT?! At Colt's follow up visit, it was decided that surgery is unnecessary. He isn't any louder and he continues to gain weight well. We visit again at the end of June. The Prevacid seems to be working well though and all around we have less fussing, better feedings and easier breathing! What wonderful improvements:)
This month was also scary because Jason's position with Maronda Homes was eliminated, so he was terminated with only 8 hours notice. I still don't know how my husband had the wherewithal to drive home alone for 30 minutes knowing he had news that would devastate me and really challenge our family. But we are getting through this together and with the help of our parents and the grace of our God. There are so many lessons that I hope Colt and Lucy learn as a result of this experience. I hope they learn to live simply. This has been our greatest adjustment. Clothes on the line. Dishes by hand. Windows open. We have always done these things to some extent. I love laundry that's been warmed in the sun and scented by a cool breeze. The first time I lived somewhere with a dishwasher, I was 22. We can live simply, save money an d maintain our quality of life. That's what I hope my kids remember about this time in our life and practice later in their own.
Also, I want my children to understand that bank accounts can be filled, stomachs can be bloated with food, houses can be huge and full of belongings, but joy isn't promised to those with things. Joy is within. Financially, we're being extremely conservative and attempting to prevent a long term fall out. We're going to need to eat from our own garden more than normal this year. And we're probably going to need to get rid of some belongings. But we are full of joy because we are together, we have help, and we have been blessed with the love of a family. And not just any family, but a family created by God, who knew this would happen, who provided for us before it occurred, and who walks with us as we navigate through it.
Colt,
You make me rich.
Never in my life have I prayed to be wealthy. Never have I prayed that I'd never need help. Never did I ask God to give me things.
But I begged and pleaded to have you and Lucy.
The Lord answered the desire of my heart. We have no reason to live in fear, no matter how scary life gets, because we have been given to one another. Baby boy, remember that your family will always keep you safe and protected, just as God intended.
All my love,
Momma
Friday, May 25, 2012
Just keep swimming.
When Lucy was born, we thought that was the end of our medical education. Between hyperprolactinema and single umbilical artery, we were well educated in infertility and high risk pregnancy business. We didn't know what a coloboma was and we didn't think we would need to. But alas, Lucy came with two beautiful eyes- one looking a bit unusual and thus began our higher education into all things weird pediatric!
Now don't get me wrong- Lucy has a coloboma that causes her NO TROUBLE! We don't really have any idea what her vision will grow into, but these poor babies share genetics with me and my eyesight kinda blows. So eye exams and the potential for glasses/ contacts/ etc doesn't surprise us or worry us. It is what it is.
You know what does worry me though? My nearly 2 month might stop breathing, could choke and turn blue, might require surgery. I know- where did that come from?! It
hit us out of nowhere too.
A week ago, I thought Colt had normal newborn congestion. In fact, I've been told by medical types that he sounds fine for a c section baby. I never worried. As a second time mom, I rarely worried that he would stop breathing while I was asleep. So please understand that no one in our house expected this week to happen as it has.
Last Friday, we celebrated my father-in-law's 60th birthday. It was a great party and we visited with many friends. A lot of people were able to finally meet Colt. So Monday morning when Colt woke up a little wheezy and chest rattling, I thought he picked up a party cold. No big deal, right?
In my "be prepared" momma wisdom, I called the pediatrician. My question "how will I know the difference between his normal newborn congestion and a cold- and can I prevent it from spreading to his sister?". Their response "I can hear him through the phone. We need to check him out immediately."
I still didn't think much of it. Ok, he's noisy. Always has been. So I took Colt in to see Dr Miller while my mom hung out with Lucy. As the nurse got Colt's stats, she asked plenty of questions about the squeak/ noise/ problem. She wanted to get the oxygen thingy (I can say the word but not spell)... Colt's oxygen was 95. I know from colds with Lucy that 95 isn't ideal, but isn't serious (doesn't require supplemental oxygen). So I waited with my agitated boy to see Dr M. Finally, she came in with a barrage of questions. I still feel incredibly dumb because I don't really know how best to answer some of these. "He doesn't always make so much noise. I guess it's getting worse. He is a spitter and chokes/ gags when my milk lets down (or so I thought). Of course he'a louder when agitated, so am I."
After the questions and a quick exam, she just said "Yeah, he's too loud." Apparently the noise is called infantile inspiratory stridor. You can google that and find some great info. It's fairly common and well described online. The stridor isn't the problem, the cause of the stridor is. Dr M thought Colt might have a mild form of laryngomalachia. Say that five times fast.
A mild case for the following reasons: my son is huge! Talk about an effective eater. He was 12lbs at 7 weeks. (No need to worry about milk supply issues this time!) So, yeah- that's what makes this seem mild. Regardless, it was necessary to confirm the diagnosis and so Dr M called Children's hospital for an immediate appointment with the ENT, Dr W.
This all happened within a few minutes. I sent Jason a text message, not knowing anywhere near enough, telling him that Colt has Stridor and needs to go to Children's ASAP. Cool. (Sarcasm.)
ASAP was actually Tuesday afternoon. Jason took a few hours off work to go with me. We didn't know what to expect except a flexible scope. And that's what happened. After answering all of the same questions from Monday's pedi visit, Colt had to be held tightly against me while a camera was stuck down his nose into his airways. Again, cool. (Also again, sarcasm.)
Laryngomalachia occurs on a continuum. (Here's the newest lesson in my pediatric medical degree.) The mild cases are most common- like 99% kinda common. A noisy baby who eats and gains weight appropriately, may have some GERD/ acid reflux issues, and has visual vocal chords as seen in a scope.
Severe laryngomalachia is related to failure to thrive- baby won't eat, can't gain weight, spits up, gags, chokes, coughs, stops breathing, turns blue and has barely visual vocal chords.
Colt is symptomatically mild. However, the scope showed that he is anatomically severe. Even I was aware that something looked wrong during the scope. It was nearly impossible to see his vocal chords when he took a breath in. And my poor boy was screaming at the top of his lungs, so clearly he was moving air vigorously.
Since Colt is night and day, clinically and experientially, we were given a choice. Dr W asked how scared we were about this. I didn't know until the day before that I needed to be scared, so not much. Did we see a problem with his eating/ breathing/ sleeping? Maybe he's a bit more fussy than Lucy was, but I don't compare them much. I assumed a bit more fussy was still in the normal fussy baby range. I don't know!
Our plan: Colt is now on the highest, most aggressive medication for GERD/ acid reflux. Often the acid in spit up splashes onto a baby's vocal box and causes swelling- not an issue if your voice box has an adequate opening. Huge issue is the dang thing closes up on its own anyway! So, we are praying that the Prevacid will decrease some of the voice box swelling. If it does, we will continue with this plan as long as possible. Laryngomalachia is a condition that occurs predominately in children. It gets worse in the first 6-8 months of life, but is almost always gone by age 2. As long as Colt is able to breath and eat adequately, he will just be a noisy boy for a while.
However, if the Prevacid doesn't work- or if we report worsening symptoms- my baby will need a pretty invasive throat surgery to remove this extra tissue in his larynx. The more we listen, watch and assess Colt's eating and breathing, I think Jason and I are both starting to believe surgery might be the best option. Ridiculous that Monday morning I thought my babies were going to have a cold- maybe get an ear infection- maybe even RSV. I was so nervous about having two sick babies. I never imagined that we would be visiting Children's twice this week (we also had x rays performed this morning to rule out a tumor pressing against Colt's lungs or airways/ any other extra or floppy tissue issues. No additional issues. Praise God!)
I didn't know these things existed until I had children. I didn't know I could be so frightened and strong simultaneously until my babies required it of me. This has taken a huge toll on all 4 of us- between juggling appointments, emotions, fears and judgments. We are all literally crying to sleep at night. I know there have been many people praying for us over the past few weeks/ months/ years. Please keep those coming. We have made it through a lot by God's grace and we are confident this is yet another opportunity to demonstrate the goodness of the God who sustains us!
Now don't get me wrong- Lucy has a coloboma that causes her NO TROUBLE! We don't really have any idea what her vision will grow into, but these poor babies share genetics with me and my eyesight kinda blows. So eye exams and the potential for glasses/ contacts/ etc doesn't surprise us or worry us. It is what it is.
You know what does worry me though? My nearly 2 month might stop breathing, could choke and turn blue, might require surgery. I know- where did that come from?! It
hit us out of nowhere too.
A week ago, I thought Colt had normal newborn congestion. In fact, I've been told by medical types that he sounds fine for a c section baby. I never worried. As a second time mom, I rarely worried that he would stop breathing while I was asleep. So please understand that no one in our house expected this week to happen as it has.
Last Friday, we celebrated my father-in-law's 60th birthday. It was a great party and we visited with many friends. A lot of people were able to finally meet Colt. So Monday morning when Colt woke up a little wheezy and chest rattling, I thought he picked up a party cold. No big deal, right?
In my "be prepared" momma wisdom, I called the pediatrician. My question "how will I know the difference between his normal newborn congestion and a cold- and can I prevent it from spreading to his sister?". Their response "I can hear him through the phone. We need to check him out immediately."
I still didn't think much of it. Ok, he's noisy. Always has been. So I took Colt in to see Dr Miller while my mom hung out with Lucy. As the nurse got Colt's stats, she asked plenty of questions about the squeak/ noise/ problem. She wanted to get the oxygen thingy (I can say the word but not spell)... Colt's oxygen was 95. I know from colds with Lucy that 95 isn't ideal, but isn't serious (doesn't require supplemental oxygen). So I waited with my agitated boy to see Dr M. Finally, she came in with a barrage of questions. I still feel incredibly dumb because I don't really know how best to answer some of these. "He doesn't always make so much noise. I guess it's getting worse. He is a spitter and chokes/ gags when my milk lets down (or so I thought). Of course he'a louder when agitated, so am I."
After the questions and a quick exam, she just said "Yeah, he's too loud." Apparently the noise is called infantile inspiratory stridor. You can google that and find some great info. It's fairly common and well described online. The stridor isn't the problem, the cause of the stridor is. Dr M thought Colt might have a mild form of laryngomalachia. Say that five times fast.
A mild case for the following reasons: my son is huge! Talk about an effective eater. He was 12lbs at 7 weeks. (No need to worry about milk supply issues this time!) So, yeah- that's what makes this seem mild. Regardless, it was necessary to confirm the diagnosis and so Dr M called Children's hospital for an immediate appointment with the ENT, Dr W.
This all happened within a few minutes. I sent Jason a text message, not knowing anywhere near enough, telling him that Colt has Stridor and needs to go to Children's ASAP. Cool. (Sarcasm.)
ASAP was actually Tuesday afternoon. Jason took a few hours off work to go with me. We didn't know what to expect except a flexible scope. And that's what happened. After answering all of the same questions from Monday's pedi visit, Colt had to be held tightly against me while a camera was stuck down his nose into his airways. Again, cool. (Also again, sarcasm.)
Laryngomalachia occurs on a continuum. (Here's the newest lesson in my pediatric medical degree.) The mild cases are most common- like 99% kinda common. A noisy baby who eats and gains weight appropriately, may have some GERD/ acid reflux issues, and has visual vocal chords as seen in a scope.
Severe laryngomalachia is related to failure to thrive- baby won't eat, can't gain weight, spits up, gags, chokes, coughs, stops breathing, turns blue and has barely visual vocal chords.
Colt is symptomatically mild. However, the scope showed that he is anatomically severe. Even I was aware that something looked wrong during the scope. It was nearly impossible to see his vocal chords when he took a breath in. And my poor boy was screaming at the top of his lungs, so clearly he was moving air vigorously.
Since Colt is night and day, clinically and experientially, we were given a choice. Dr W asked how scared we were about this. I didn't know until the day before that I needed to be scared, so not much. Did we see a problem with his eating/ breathing/ sleeping? Maybe he's a bit more fussy than Lucy was, but I don't compare them much. I assumed a bit more fussy was still in the normal fussy baby range. I don't know!
Our plan: Colt is now on the highest, most aggressive medication for GERD/ acid reflux. Often the acid in spit up splashes onto a baby's vocal box and causes swelling- not an issue if your voice box has an adequate opening. Huge issue is the dang thing closes up on its own anyway! So, we are praying that the Prevacid will decrease some of the voice box swelling. If it does, we will continue with this plan as long as possible. Laryngomalachia is a condition that occurs predominately in children. It gets worse in the first 6-8 months of life, but is almost always gone by age 2. As long as Colt is able to breath and eat adequately, he will just be a noisy boy for a while.
However, if the Prevacid doesn't work- or if we report worsening symptoms- my baby will need a pretty invasive throat surgery to remove this extra tissue in his larynx. The more we listen, watch and assess Colt's eating and breathing, I think Jason and I are both starting to believe surgery might be the best option. Ridiculous that Monday morning I thought my babies were going to have a cold- maybe get an ear infection- maybe even RSV. I was so nervous about having two sick babies. I never imagined that we would be visiting Children's twice this week (we also had x rays performed this morning to rule out a tumor pressing against Colt's lungs or airways/ any other extra or floppy tissue issues. No additional issues. Praise God!)
I didn't know these things existed until I had children. I didn't know I could be so frightened and strong simultaneously until my babies required it of me. This has taken a huge toll on all 4 of us- between juggling appointments, emotions, fears and judgments. We are all literally crying to sleep at night. I know there have been many people praying for us over the past few weeks/ months/ years. Please keep those coming. We have made it through a lot by God's grace and we are confident this is yet another opportunity to demonstrate the goodness of the God who sustains us!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
My big little guy!
Colt Colliver, you turning out to be quite the handful! Literally! At 5 weeks old, Colt weighed 10lb, 13oz and was 21.75" tall! The night before Colt came home from the hospital, he was his smallest: 7lb, 7oz. In the 3 weeks between his 2 week visit and 5 week visit, the pediatrician wanted to see a 30 oz gain. Try 42 oz!!!
Colt is growing so well mostly because he is a demanding little eater. I'd say I have spent up to 14 hours a day nursing him some days. This might sound like such a rewarding time to be binding with my adorable son (and it is!), but it is also a struggle when I'm home alone with Colt and Lucy. We are able to breast feed exclusively but we use the bottle a few times a day so I'm not totally tied down nursing. I need to be available to Lucy as well. During Colt's big 3 day growth spurt, Lucy let me know that I wasn't paying enough attention to her. She nearly flipped off the back of our couch!!! A climbing toddler and a demanding, growing newborn can be a handful and a half;)
I think Colt most remarkable developments this month have been rolling over and smiling. At 3 weeks, Colt has mastered rolling over belly to back. He doesn't mind tummy time, but he loves to roll around! Also, he recognizes his mommy! (And melts my heart every time!) Colt is also recognizing Daddy and Lucy. He grins, chuckles, coos and makes all his sweet baby noises for us.
Yesterday, Colt was laying on his back on the floor and Lucy was sitting beside him (she really likes to do that). Colt had enough of floor time and started to fuss about it. Lucy bent down and kissed his cheek, which made him stop fussing and coo for his sister. Jason said Lucy must be the Colt Whisperer!
Today was a big day. Since Colt spent some time in a breech position (though the time he was completely footling breech was during the ultrasound the day I was to be induced), he needed to have an ultrasound to check out his hips. After 45 minutes of testing, the tech told me that Colt looked "almost normal"- I can tell my postpartum hormones arent totally raging anymore as I didn't punch her for calling my son almost normal! Anyway, our pediatrician called this afternoon and said he's actually totally normal (I like her so much better!) and there's no need to give hip issue another thought. Good news!
I have to admit that two kids in 14 months is a challenge, but I already can't remember life without this boy! We spend most days together, just the three of us and it's perfect. It might be noisy, demanding, and hard beyond belief sometimes, but it's awesome, fantastic, and very perfect!
Colt is growing so well mostly because he is a demanding little eater. I'd say I have spent up to 14 hours a day nursing him some days. This might sound like such a rewarding time to be binding with my adorable son (and it is!), but it is also a struggle when I'm home alone with Colt and Lucy. We are able to breast feed exclusively but we use the bottle a few times a day so I'm not totally tied down nursing. I need to be available to Lucy as well. During Colt's big 3 day growth spurt, Lucy let me know that I wasn't paying enough attention to her. She nearly flipped off the back of our couch!!! A climbing toddler and a demanding, growing newborn can be a handful and a half;)
I think Colt most remarkable developments this month have been rolling over and smiling. At 3 weeks, Colt has mastered rolling over belly to back. He doesn't mind tummy time, but he loves to roll around! Also, he recognizes his mommy! (And melts my heart every time!) Colt is also recognizing Daddy and Lucy. He grins, chuckles, coos and makes all his sweet baby noises for us.
Yesterday, Colt was laying on his back on the floor and Lucy was sitting beside him (she really likes to do that). Colt had enough of floor time and started to fuss about it. Lucy bent down and kissed his cheek, which made him stop fussing and coo for his sister. Jason said Lucy must be the Colt Whisperer!
Today was a big day. Since Colt spent some time in a breech position (though the time he was completely footling breech was during the ultrasound the day I was to be induced), he needed to have an ultrasound to check out his hips. After 45 minutes of testing, the tech told me that Colt looked "almost normal"- I can tell my postpartum hormones arent totally raging anymore as I didn't punch her for calling my son almost normal! Anyway, our pediatrician called this afternoon and said he's actually totally normal (I like her so much better!) and there's no need to give hip issue another thought. Good news!
I have to admit that two kids in 14 months is a challenge, but I already can't remember life without this boy! We spend most days together, just the three of us and it's perfect. It might be noisy, demanding, and hard beyond belief sometimes, but it's awesome, fantastic, and very perfect!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Unexpected perfection
The last time I was really able to update blogs, I was watching the Wildcats win the NCAA championship, making a loooong to do before baby list for the next day, and apparently making everyone cry with the story about Colt's naming process. I had officially given up going into labor on my own, though I had more contractions than I thought possible and accepted the fact that I needed to be up and ready early the next morning for my routine testing.
Every Tuesday and Friday morning during the third trimester, Colt and I visited our friends at the maternal fetal center for a non-stress test and amniotic fluid index. An NST lasts about 20 minutes, during which I was monitored for contractions and Colt was watched for movement and heart rate acceleration. To pass, baby has to move first and have a corresponding heart rate acceleration of 15 beats above the baseline for 15 seconds. Usually, Colt slept through these and the nurse would hold a buzzer to my belly, which acted as his alarm clock. Every test was aced with flying colors as Colt's heart rate and reactivity level were always exceptional. An AFI is a fluid check- meaning an ultrasound is performed during which time the technician locates and measures fluid pockets around the baby. A baby can have too much or too little, both can be problematic. Again, Colt always had great fluid levels.
On Tuesday, April 3, I knew something was different. I had these tests with Lucy too, so after biweekly testing for the better part of a year/ year and a half, you kinda know what to expect. I was chatting with the nurses, all of whom I just adore, and listening to Colt's heart rate, moving slower than normal. I also wasn't feeling him move much, highly abnormal for him. I figured we would need the buzzer to get him going and did a few tricks to attempt to help him wake up some. Nothing worked. I haven't said this out loud to anyone but Jason, but I panicked. The nurse who monitored my gestional diabetes just happened to come into the room and I did my best to pretend I was calm with her. She obviously sensed my distress over Colt's obvious distress and told me "Ya know, worse case scenario is you have that baby boy today instead of tomorrow". Maybe I should add the birth plan was induction at 6:30 am Wednesday, April 4. We had that all worked out and planned.
The nurses talked and decided that the perinatologist needed to review Colt's test. He agreed that the 5 minute deceleration was problematic and indicated that he should come out ASAP. I was informed that I once again would be directly admitted to labor and delivery from the maternal fetal center. My feelings were completely jumbled. I was so excited to get my boy here, get unpregnant (you do it for nearly 2 years straight and tell me you love it), and scared to death that something could be seriously wrong with this child I was already in love with.
I called Jason. Talk about some kinda panic! I repeatedly said everything is ok, just better to start the induction today, you can hold your son, get to the damn hospital immediately. Oh, and call my mom. She needed to stay with Lucy while we figured out what was happening with Colt. Of course, I took the Camry (Jason typical car) that morning, of course I had the key to our van (my typical car and the kids only car), of course the hospital bags were in the van. It took hours to figure out who had what vehicle, who needed what vehicle and how to get everyone to that particular vehicle. Thanks to my amazing sister for running around to straighten out that mess!
When my blood pressure went crazy and I was admitted for delivery with Lucy, I had Jason with me for every step. He even offered to push me through the halls in a wheelchair. This time, I was alone. For the first 30 minutes or so. It added to my fears some. I had to drive around the building to get closer to L&D alone, check in at the desk alone, and started getting prepped in the room alone. I didn't like that much at all, but I knew it was necessary. Sometimes being a mom means you have to do scary things alone for the sake of your children. Since Lucy needed daddy wit her that morning, I needed to be brave.
First thing on the agenda, more monitoring for Colt. With that 5 minute heart rate deceleration, I knew it would be a little while before any medications would be administered to induce labor. The doctor would need to know that Colt could handle it. Maybe I should add now that I planned my induction around my favorite OB's schedule. I wanted Dr Perry to deliver Colt. He knew us best, always remembered to ask about Lucy even when she wasn't with me at visits, and took extra tile and care to answer all my questions and calm my concerns. He is a wonderful doctor, and I don't hand out those kind of titles lightly. Dr Perry was not on call on Tuesday, another (equally kind, but unfamiliar to me) OB from my group was. I was just happy I avoided the mean OB, who was on call all weekend and Monday.
Dr Walker checked Colt's heart rate for an hour or so, declared him to be the most cooperative and happy baby on the unit, and finally checked me for labor progression. I was 3cm dilated and about halfway effaced. I had been in early labor for two weeks prior to that morning. But it was going to be worth all the contractions, I would be able to start pitocin and get into active labor quickly. However, Dr Walked also said Colt was very high still, as he didn't feel his head pressing on my cervix when he checked. Just to be sure he's in position, let's get a bed side ultrasound.
Ok can I be crudely honest here? Great. All I thought when he said that is "oh shit, after all that we've already been through, my kid's gonna be breech". Sure thought my way into that one. As the midwife place the wand on my stomach, only two feet kicked at my cervix. While I refused to watch most of the ultrasound, I saw my son's perfect, beautiful, amazing head in my ribs. "Oh, shit" was right. He was completely breech. Let me add Colt had been in a lot of positions over the last 6 weeks of y pregnancy. Never was he completely breech. He was transverse, oblique, kinda breech, head down, head nearly down. I know his position because I had an AFI ultrasound every Friday. And on Friday march 30, Colt was head down. Apparently babies can and do leave the head down position whenever they want. At least my babies do.
So I saw that Colt was breech and started crying. I cried so hard I needed a towel to dry my face as the tissues weren't cutting it. I began letting people know the news as Dr Walker came into the room. In a very kind and Dr Huxtable sorta way he said, " so I see you're adjusting to the news". Then he informed me that both of his kids were c sections and very sweetly said "dad will get to hold baby first, but no one will ever love him like his mommy does". I don't think I'll ever forget that man telling me this. It gave me such great peace. I was still nervous about having surgery. Who wouldn't be?! Most of my concerns revolved around Lucy. I was well aware that I would not be allowed to lift her after a c section and that thought broke my heart.
Now I have to brag about my husband. Jason has never been pushy or even very assertive with pregnancy related information. He lets me ask my questions, reminds me if I forget, but never asserts himself into that role. He has made every decision with me, but let's me at least think I'm in charge with our pregnancies. This was not true that day. When Dr Walker informed us that we would head to the OR at 4 pm, he immediately asked about an external cephalic version. This is potentially risky procedure that involves literally turning the baby while he is inside of mom. We were schedule to have this done with Lucy, but he turned the day before on her own. Jason made sure Dr Walker shared all the possible scenarios and risks with us. And then I got to have a little bit of control. I like control. Given that Colt's heart rate decelerated earlier that day, the medical team suggested that we avoid a version to avoid further distress. I agreed. Let's just do the section.
We let our families and Facebook friends know that plan, and sat back to wait as it changed a few times. Now, during this pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes. Seriously, not the worse thing to ever occur. With GD, I had a pretty rigid eating schedule. So at 11am that morning, I felt my blood sugar drop and knew I needed a snack, which I was gladly given. After all, no one knew I would be having a c section then. Graham crackers and peanut butter seemed fine for labor induction... Because of that 30 carbs, my c section was pushed back 30 minutes. This is how I know God exists. I had that snack.
Jason and I spent the afternoon playing on our phones, looking for something decent on tv, checking on Lucy and my mom, and later visiting with our closest fans prior to being wheeled away. Lucy came to the hospital a little while before the operation process began and Lordy was I calmer after seeing her. She was happy as a clam spending the day with her Grandma, Nana and PaDon (with special help and time with Aunt Tiffy).
Around 4:30, the anethesiologist came in to get everything started. She was sweet as could be, which was insanely reassuring. At 5pm, the doctor who would perform my surgery came into the room to prep me. I can't imagine how I looked when I saw him, but I hasn't forgotten how relieved I was to see Dr Perry, my OB. I remember that we talked briefly about the procedure and then I asked "are you going to be there?". Prove God exists: my surgery was reschedule because I ate a snack, my favorite OB who calms and reassures me left the office at 4:30, he knew I was going to have a c section and gave up his night off to come to the hospital and perform my surgery. Who does that?! This incredible doctor. I adore him. Seriously.
Now for further evidence of God's greatness...
Just after that encounter with Dr Perry, Jason and I were taken (I was wheeled) to the OR. Jason suited up while I got a spinal. I knew every nurse in the room with us. One had taken care of my IV earlier in the day and spent almost an hour talking with us and the other two took care of me in triage earlier in my pregnancy and after my gallbladder surgery. The anesthesiologist was new to me, but was so nice it didn't really matter. Other than those 4, it was just Dr Perry, my wonderful hubby, me and my sweet boy.
At 5:25, I whispered to Jason "what's happening?" The anesethiologist heard me and said that things were starting. I really didn't feel much at all and definitely couldn't tell what was happening. Literally, a couple minutes later Dr Perry said "who's ready to meet a baby?". I was shocked that it happened so fast- at 5:30, Colt Montgomery Colliver was born and came into my world with a beautiful cry, head full of mohawked hair, huge baby feet, and adorably chubby cheeks. Dr Perry held my second born child up over the curtain to show me who had been pushing on my sciatic nerve, jumping on my bladder, and stealing my heart.
As the baby nurse took Colt and started cleaning him and making sure he was in good shape, I asked for Jason to go be with him. I know that is a tough moment for Jason. He had a hard time leaving me when Lucy was born, but I have always wanted our kids to see their daddy as soon as those beautiful eyes popped open. And both babies have opened their eyes to greet the man who adores them, prays for them, and dreams big dreams for them.
Now, I have to brag on myself for a moment. I know, I know, humility. Stick with me here. I have this way of knowing when it comes to my kids. It's mother's intuition for sure, and I wont ever doubt the reality of it. I knew Lucy was a girl when I was about 6 weeks pregnant; I knew Colt was a boy when I took the pregnancy test. I knew I was pregnant with both before I had any clear blue easy confirmation. The anesethiologist (she plays a big role in this story) asked if I had any guesses on Colt's weight. Earlier in the day, Jason and I guessed with one another. His guess 8lb, 5oz. My guess 8lb, 6oz. Guess what my boy weighed? Apparently I was the first mom to guess a weight exactly right in the OR.
After what seemed like 2 or 3 minutes everything that had been undone was done again and I was headed to recovery. After a 40 minute feeding and some snuggles with Daddy, Colt met his Nana and Grandma, PaDon, Aunt Tiffy, Aunt Laura, Uncle Jeremy and most importantly, his big sister. I tear up just thinking about Lucy looking at Colt for the first time. Thank God for giving my children the gift of one another.
Everything after that has been pretty par for the course. I'm healing well and feeling pretty good. Lucy is adjusting to life with a baby just as well as one could hope. Colt is healthy, growing an sweet as pie. And Daddy is holding us all together. Thank God for the stability and solid foundation of Jason. He's more than perfect to all three of us!
It might take another month or so, I'll be updating Colt's blog each month with his development, just as I do with Lucy's. For now, here are a couple first photos to keep you captive;)
Every Tuesday and Friday morning during the third trimester, Colt and I visited our friends at the maternal fetal center for a non-stress test and amniotic fluid index. An NST lasts about 20 minutes, during which I was monitored for contractions and Colt was watched for movement and heart rate acceleration. To pass, baby has to move first and have a corresponding heart rate acceleration of 15 beats above the baseline for 15 seconds. Usually, Colt slept through these and the nurse would hold a buzzer to my belly, which acted as his alarm clock. Every test was aced with flying colors as Colt's heart rate and reactivity level were always exceptional. An AFI is a fluid check- meaning an ultrasound is performed during which time the technician locates and measures fluid pockets around the baby. A baby can have too much or too little, both can be problematic. Again, Colt always had great fluid levels.
On Tuesday, April 3, I knew something was different. I had these tests with Lucy too, so after biweekly testing for the better part of a year/ year and a half, you kinda know what to expect. I was chatting with the nurses, all of whom I just adore, and listening to Colt's heart rate, moving slower than normal. I also wasn't feeling him move much, highly abnormal for him. I figured we would need the buzzer to get him going and did a few tricks to attempt to help him wake up some. Nothing worked. I haven't said this out loud to anyone but Jason, but I panicked. The nurse who monitored my gestional diabetes just happened to come into the room and I did my best to pretend I was calm with her. She obviously sensed my distress over Colt's obvious distress and told me "Ya know, worse case scenario is you have that baby boy today instead of tomorrow". Maybe I should add the birth plan was induction at 6:30 am Wednesday, April 4. We had that all worked out and planned.
The nurses talked and decided that the perinatologist needed to review Colt's test. He agreed that the 5 minute deceleration was problematic and indicated that he should come out ASAP. I was informed that I once again would be directly admitted to labor and delivery from the maternal fetal center. My feelings were completely jumbled. I was so excited to get my boy here, get unpregnant (you do it for nearly 2 years straight and tell me you love it), and scared to death that something could be seriously wrong with this child I was already in love with.
I called Jason. Talk about some kinda panic! I repeatedly said everything is ok, just better to start the induction today, you can hold your son, get to the damn hospital immediately. Oh, and call my mom. She needed to stay with Lucy while we figured out what was happening with Colt. Of course, I took the Camry (Jason typical car) that morning, of course I had the key to our van (my typical car and the kids only car), of course the hospital bags were in the van. It took hours to figure out who had what vehicle, who needed what vehicle and how to get everyone to that particular vehicle. Thanks to my amazing sister for running around to straighten out that mess!
When my blood pressure went crazy and I was admitted for delivery with Lucy, I had Jason with me for every step. He even offered to push me through the halls in a wheelchair. This time, I was alone. For the first 30 minutes or so. It added to my fears some. I had to drive around the building to get closer to L&D alone, check in at the desk alone, and started getting prepped in the room alone. I didn't like that much at all, but I knew it was necessary. Sometimes being a mom means you have to do scary things alone for the sake of your children. Since Lucy needed daddy wit her that morning, I needed to be brave.
First thing on the agenda, more monitoring for Colt. With that 5 minute heart rate deceleration, I knew it would be a little while before any medications would be administered to induce labor. The doctor would need to know that Colt could handle it. Maybe I should add now that I planned my induction around my favorite OB's schedule. I wanted Dr Perry to deliver Colt. He knew us best, always remembered to ask about Lucy even when she wasn't with me at visits, and took extra tile and care to answer all my questions and calm my concerns. He is a wonderful doctor, and I don't hand out those kind of titles lightly. Dr Perry was not on call on Tuesday, another (equally kind, but unfamiliar to me) OB from my group was. I was just happy I avoided the mean OB, who was on call all weekend and Monday.
Dr Walker checked Colt's heart rate for an hour or so, declared him to be the most cooperative and happy baby on the unit, and finally checked me for labor progression. I was 3cm dilated and about halfway effaced. I had been in early labor for two weeks prior to that morning. But it was going to be worth all the contractions, I would be able to start pitocin and get into active labor quickly. However, Dr Walked also said Colt was very high still, as he didn't feel his head pressing on my cervix when he checked. Just to be sure he's in position, let's get a bed side ultrasound.
Ok can I be crudely honest here? Great. All I thought when he said that is "oh shit, after all that we've already been through, my kid's gonna be breech". Sure thought my way into that one. As the midwife place the wand on my stomach, only two feet kicked at my cervix. While I refused to watch most of the ultrasound, I saw my son's perfect, beautiful, amazing head in my ribs. "Oh, shit" was right. He was completely breech. Let me add Colt had been in a lot of positions over the last 6 weeks of y pregnancy. Never was he completely breech. He was transverse, oblique, kinda breech, head down, head nearly down. I know his position because I had an AFI ultrasound every Friday. And on Friday march 30, Colt was head down. Apparently babies can and do leave the head down position whenever they want. At least my babies do.
So I saw that Colt was breech and started crying. I cried so hard I needed a towel to dry my face as the tissues weren't cutting it. I began letting people know the news as Dr Walker came into the room. In a very kind and Dr Huxtable sorta way he said, " so I see you're adjusting to the news". Then he informed me that both of his kids were c sections and very sweetly said "dad will get to hold baby first, but no one will ever love him like his mommy does". I don't think I'll ever forget that man telling me this. It gave me such great peace. I was still nervous about having surgery. Who wouldn't be?! Most of my concerns revolved around Lucy. I was well aware that I would not be allowed to lift her after a c section and that thought broke my heart.
Now I have to brag about my husband. Jason has never been pushy or even very assertive with pregnancy related information. He lets me ask my questions, reminds me if I forget, but never asserts himself into that role. He has made every decision with me, but let's me at least think I'm in charge with our pregnancies. This was not true that day. When Dr Walker informed us that we would head to the OR at 4 pm, he immediately asked about an external cephalic version. This is potentially risky procedure that involves literally turning the baby while he is inside of mom. We were schedule to have this done with Lucy, but he turned the day before on her own. Jason made sure Dr Walker shared all the possible scenarios and risks with us. And then I got to have a little bit of control. I like control. Given that Colt's heart rate decelerated earlier that day, the medical team suggested that we avoid a version to avoid further distress. I agreed. Let's just do the section.
We let our families and Facebook friends know that plan, and sat back to wait as it changed a few times. Now, during this pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes. Seriously, not the worse thing to ever occur. With GD, I had a pretty rigid eating schedule. So at 11am that morning, I felt my blood sugar drop and knew I needed a snack, which I was gladly given. After all, no one knew I would be having a c section then. Graham crackers and peanut butter seemed fine for labor induction... Because of that 30 carbs, my c section was pushed back 30 minutes. This is how I know God exists. I had that snack.
Jason and I spent the afternoon playing on our phones, looking for something decent on tv, checking on Lucy and my mom, and later visiting with our closest fans prior to being wheeled away. Lucy came to the hospital a little while before the operation process began and Lordy was I calmer after seeing her. She was happy as a clam spending the day with her Grandma, Nana and PaDon (with special help and time with Aunt Tiffy).
Around 4:30, the anethesiologist came in to get everything started. She was sweet as could be, which was insanely reassuring. At 5pm, the doctor who would perform my surgery came into the room to prep me. I can't imagine how I looked when I saw him, but I hasn't forgotten how relieved I was to see Dr Perry, my OB. I remember that we talked briefly about the procedure and then I asked "are you going to be there?". Prove God exists: my surgery was reschedule because I ate a snack, my favorite OB who calms and reassures me left the office at 4:30, he knew I was going to have a c section and gave up his night off to come to the hospital and perform my surgery. Who does that?! This incredible doctor. I adore him. Seriously.
Now for further evidence of God's greatness...
Just after that encounter with Dr Perry, Jason and I were taken (I was wheeled) to the OR. Jason suited up while I got a spinal. I knew every nurse in the room with us. One had taken care of my IV earlier in the day and spent almost an hour talking with us and the other two took care of me in triage earlier in my pregnancy and after my gallbladder surgery. The anesthesiologist was new to me, but was so nice it didn't really matter. Other than those 4, it was just Dr Perry, my wonderful hubby, me and my sweet boy.
At 5:25, I whispered to Jason "what's happening?" The anesethiologist heard me and said that things were starting. I really didn't feel much at all and definitely couldn't tell what was happening. Literally, a couple minutes later Dr Perry said "who's ready to meet a baby?". I was shocked that it happened so fast- at 5:30, Colt Montgomery Colliver was born and came into my world with a beautiful cry, head full of mohawked hair, huge baby feet, and adorably chubby cheeks. Dr Perry held my second born child up over the curtain to show me who had been pushing on my sciatic nerve, jumping on my bladder, and stealing my heart.
As the baby nurse took Colt and started cleaning him and making sure he was in good shape, I asked for Jason to go be with him. I know that is a tough moment for Jason. He had a hard time leaving me when Lucy was born, but I have always wanted our kids to see their daddy as soon as those beautiful eyes popped open. And both babies have opened their eyes to greet the man who adores them, prays for them, and dreams big dreams for them.
Now, I have to brag on myself for a moment. I know, I know, humility. Stick with me here. I have this way of knowing when it comes to my kids. It's mother's intuition for sure, and I wont ever doubt the reality of it. I knew Lucy was a girl when I was about 6 weeks pregnant; I knew Colt was a boy when I took the pregnancy test. I knew I was pregnant with both before I had any clear blue easy confirmation. The anesethiologist (she plays a big role in this story) asked if I had any guesses on Colt's weight. Earlier in the day, Jason and I guessed with one another. His guess 8lb, 5oz. My guess 8lb, 6oz. Guess what my boy weighed? Apparently I was the first mom to guess a weight exactly right in the OR.
After what seemed like 2 or 3 minutes everything that had been undone was done again and I was headed to recovery. After a 40 minute feeding and some snuggles with Daddy, Colt met his Nana and Grandma, PaDon, Aunt Tiffy, Aunt Laura, Uncle Jeremy and most importantly, his big sister. I tear up just thinking about Lucy looking at Colt for the first time. Thank God for giving my children the gift of one another.
Everything after that has been pretty par for the course. I'm healing well and feeling pretty good. Lucy is adjusting to life with a baby just as well as one could hope. Colt is healthy, growing an sweet as pie. And Daddy is holding us all together. Thank God for the stability and solid foundation of Jason. He's more than perfect to all three of us!
It might take another month or so, I'll be updating Colt's blog each month with his development, just as I do with Lucy's. For now, here are a couple first photos to keep you captive;)
Monday, April 2, 2012
Named with Purpose
I have to admit there's a lot that I would like to write in this blog. There are many stories I hope to remember for years to come. There are feelings I have already forgotten that will not be recorded. But the days slip by, the energy evades me, and mostly the brain power has just plain left me.
But tonight, I'm letting the guard down, laying out all of cards and writing to my son so he knows just how on purpose he is...
Before Lucy was conceived, we struggled with infertility. Like see a doctor, pay thousands of dollars for testing, chart your cycle kinda infertility. Maybe you remember before Lucy was conceived, we lost our little Poppy. She was about 6 weeks old when I miscarried her. When I miscarried her.
Then I sank and sank and sank. Until I was drowning. Until it hurt to take in any air. Until I couldn't scream for help. All I could do was whisper "Jason, I can't lose another one.". Maybe what I was also saying is "God, take me to her. Let me be with my Poppy. Don't make me keep waiting to be her mommy. Please."
The day after my husband lifted me off our bedroom floor, the day after mothers day 2010, I started the cycle that lead to our Beautiful Light. Some people might think it's cheesy or even ridiculous, but we have named both of our children on purpose, with purpose. Lucy Belle came to us in a fury of beauty. She literally filled my deep darkness with light. She brought back what I couldn't find. And she showed me that even though it was tough, God's beautiful light always lived within me.
In early July 2011, we visited our reproductive specialist again. I was very nervous about taking birth control measures, especially something hormonally based, after Lucy was born. What if my whole endocrine system went haywire again? Would I get to have another baby? Would it be as difficult to conceive? Apparently, Lucy flipped some kinda switch and I became fertile myrtle after her birth. Two weeks after that consult, I was pregnant. With my son. And with a promise.
Colt has been a covenant since his very beginning. At that fertility consult, I had an ultrasound to inspect the physicality of my womanhood for reproductive purposes. I was preparing to ovulate that day. That ovum was my contribution to a person, an intentional person. That day we saw our son before he became our son. That was promising.
As we tossed around names (for what seems like forever), nothing fit this baby. I had decided long ago I needed a Jackson. Then everyone had a Jackson and I gave up that dream. Then I knew I was having a Rhett. And while I love that name, it reminded me a stuffed dog- one that had been thoroughly loved on and cuddled, maybe some stitching missing here and there. But then I saw him. This boy, knit together within me.
He was strong. Full. Broad. Somehow more confident with himself than I've ever been. He wasn't a cuddly old dog, he is a thoroughbred. A champion. And yet, he is also my greatest covenant with God. Let me explain.
Now, after losing all my hope, my strength, my will, I asked and begged for my children. Lucy was gifted to me. She filled me, making me the woman I yearned to be. (She also turned me into a zombie, with awful hair days, pitiful dark circles and zero brain power. But that's another story.)
While Lucy made me a mom, Colt made me aware that God believed in me as that mom. How else could someone have 2 children within 14 months?! Clearly, the Lord is saying "I know how deeply you felt lost. Now you can see the many blessings I had in store for you. You have been patient and endured, and now I will richly bless you."
Ok, a little disclaimer: this isn't theology and it isn't any comment on your life, your beliefs, your friends' experience, etc. These are SIMPLY my feelings about MY experience. So please don't read this an any comment on anything other than that. It's not.
When we thought about names for a boy, we knew we wanted to use my mother in law's maiden name: Montgomery. It has special memories for Jason and it is a good hardy name for anyone. And that's where we got stuck- something Montgomery Colliver.
This is a good time to begin explaining the covenant I feel with God. When we decided to use Montgomery, we were actually pregnant with and naming Lucy. We had no idea what would happen over the upcoming year. However, about a month after we completely named Colt, his Nana was diagnosed with a rare form of uterine cancer. I haven't ever said a whole lot about this. But it scared me when we got that phone call. I cried silently before we even said our goodbyes. And I cried for quite some time afterward. Becky is my mother in law, but she's my mother before she's an in law. I had no desire to watch her hurt, especially with some crazy cancer.
As we traveled to be together with family for Christmas in the day or so after that call, a sense of reassurance covered me. Colt Montgomery Colliver. My covenant. God had already made a way to get my sweet mother in law through surgery, recovery, chemo, radiation, whatever. God promised it through her namesake. Our Colt. Never once since then have I worried. Becky, or Nana as we usually call her in our house, is strong. She is wildly passionate, has relentless grace, and tremendous endurance. She is a thoroughbred... and a wildcat! ;)
This woman is promised to my son. God knows that Colt needs her and will look to her for things no one else can provide. And therefore, God's covenant covers Nana. I have no doubt.
Maybe a week after Thanksgiving, Jason and I were laying in bed (praying Lucy would stay asleep), fighting over names. "But I think his name is... I hate that name... I like the name but I use to date someone..." Jason pulled up another website with "Southern" boy names. It linked us to something else and then another something. Finally, he said, in a long, tiring list, Colton.
I sat up in bed. "That is it. His name is Colt." Literally, those words came from my mouth. Jason kinda looked at me "Colton? Really?" "No, I'd never call him that. His name is Colt." Jason's response was simply something like ok.
We tried it on for a few days. We tried to find something else. We never did. Nothing came close. Colt Montgomery Colliver.
In Lucy's room, we hung a name plate. It reads "Lucy Belle: Beautiful Light" and then it has her bible verse. This was a matter of prayer for us. We spent a lot of time finding a verse that said everything we felt at that time. We decided on 2 Corinthians 4: 5-6. We used the Message. It's perfect. I suggest you read it;)
We knew Colt needed something similar. And so we poured over translations of Colt and Montgomery. We studied the names. Seriously, we are scholars now. It was a good deal of work. Colt's name plate reads "Colt Montgomery: young, powerful man of The Rock". (High five to us!) Now some of you will be more familiar with the verse we picked for Colt. I knew from the moment we began the conversation that I had the perfect verse for him.
This child was made by God, created with great purpose and promise. The verse we picked actually chose me years ago.
"This heap is a witness between me and thee this day. Therefore was the name of it called Galeed; and Mizpah; for he said The Lord watch between me and thee, when we are absent one from another." Genesis 31: 48-49 (King James)
Talk about bringing it all full circle, right?
Colt,
I will confess the goodness of God's great plan all the days of my life. You have brought healing, reassurance, comfort and peace to my life. You are a blessing and you were made with purpose, named with purpose and commissioned to go into the world with great purpose. Be a thoroughbred, baby boy. Be strong enough to have faith. Be confident enough to live and love with humility. I'll continue to pray for you as you join the world this week, take your first steps and walk off into your own life. Thank you for helping me grow into myself and into a deeper walk with God.
I love you so big,
Momma
But tonight, I'm letting the guard down, laying out all of cards and writing to my son so he knows just how on purpose he is...
Before Lucy was conceived, we struggled with infertility. Like see a doctor, pay thousands of dollars for testing, chart your cycle kinda infertility. Maybe you remember before Lucy was conceived, we lost our little Poppy. She was about 6 weeks old when I miscarried her. When I miscarried her.
Then I sank and sank and sank. Until I was drowning. Until it hurt to take in any air. Until I couldn't scream for help. All I could do was whisper "Jason, I can't lose another one.". Maybe what I was also saying is "God, take me to her. Let me be with my Poppy. Don't make me keep waiting to be her mommy. Please."
The day after my husband lifted me off our bedroom floor, the day after mothers day 2010, I started the cycle that lead to our Beautiful Light. Some people might think it's cheesy or even ridiculous, but we have named both of our children on purpose, with purpose. Lucy Belle came to us in a fury of beauty. She literally filled my deep darkness with light. She brought back what I couldn't find. And she showed me that even though it was tough, God's beautiful light always lived within me.
In early July 2011, we visited our reproductive specialist again. I was very nervous about taking birth control measures, especially something hormonally based, after Lucy was born. What if my whole endocrine system went haywire again? Would I get to have another baby? Would it be as difficult to conceive? Apparently, Lucy flipped some kinda switch and I became fertile myrtle after her birth. Two weeks after that consult, I was pregnant. With my son. And with a promise.
Colt has been a covenant since his very beginning. At that fertility consult, I had an ultrasound to inspect the physicality of my womanhood for reproductive purposes. I was preparing to ovulate that day. That ovum was my contribution to a person, an intentional person. That day we saw our son before he became our son. That was promising.
As we tossed around names (for what seems like forever), nothing fit this baby. I had decided long ago I needed a Jackson. Then everyone had a Jackson and I gave up that dream. Then I knew I was having a Rhett. And while I love that name, it reminded me a stuffed dog- one that had been thoroughly loved on and cuddled, maybe some stitching missing here and there. But then I saw him. This boy, knit together within me.
He was strong. Full. Broad. Somehow more confident with himself than I've ever been. He wasn't a cuddly old dog, he is a thoroughbred. A champion. And yet, he is also my greatest covenant with God. Let me explain.
Now, after losing all my hope, my strength, my will, I asked and begged for my children. Lucy was gifted to me. She filled me, making me the woman I yearned to be. (She also turned me into a zombie, with awful hair days, pitiful dark circles and zero brain power. But that's another story.)
While Lucy made me a mom, Colt made me aware that God believed in me as that mom. How else could someone have 2 children within 14 months?! Clearly, the Lord is saying "I know how deeply you felt lost. Now you can see the many blessings I had in store for you. You have been patient and endured, and now I will richly bless you."
Ok, a little disclaimer: this isn't theology and it isn't any comment on your life, your beliefs, your friends' experience, etc. These are SIMPLY my feelings about MY experience. So please don't read this an any comment on anything other than that. It's not.
When we thought about names for a boy, we knew we wanted to use my mother in law's maiden name: Montgomery. It has special memories for Jason and it is a good hardy name for anyone. And that's where we got stuck- something Montgomery Colliver.
This is a good time to begin explaining the covenant I feel with God. When we decided to use Montgomery, we were actually pregnant with and naming Lucy. We had no idea what would happen over the upcoming year. However, about a month after we completely named Colt, his Nana was diagnosed with a rare form of uterine cancer. I haven't ever said a whole lot about this. But it scared me when we got that phone call. I cried silently before we even said our goodbyes. And I cried for quite some time afterward. Becky is my mother in law, but she's my mother before she's an in law. I had no desire to watch her hurt, especially with some crazy cancer.
As we traveled to be together with family for Christmas in the day or so after that call, a sense of reassurance covered me. Colt Montgomery Colliver. My covenant. God had already made a way to get my sweet mother in law through surgery, recovery, chemo, radiation, whatever. God promised it through her namesake. Our Colt. Never once since then have I worried. Becky, or Nana as we usually call her in our house, is strong. She is wildly passionate, has relentless grace, and tremendous endurance. She is a thoroughbred... and a wildcat! ;)
This woman is promised to my son. God knows that Colt needs her and will look to her for things no one else can provide. And therefore, God's covenant covers Nana. I have no doubt.
Maybe a week after Thanksgiving, Jason and I were laying in bed (praying Lucy would stay asleep), fighting over names. "But I think his name is... I hate that name... I like the name but I use to date someone..." Jason pulled up another website with "Southern" boy names. It linked us to something else and then another something. Finally, he said, in a long, tiring list, Colton.
I sat up in bed. "That is it. His name is Colt." Literally, those words came from my mouth. Jason kinda looked at me "Colton? Really?" "No, I'd never call him that. His name is Colt." Jason's response was simply something like ok.
We tried it on for a few days. We tried to find something else. We never did. Nothing came close. Colt Montgomery Colliver.
In Lucy's room, we hung a name plate. It reads "Lucy Belle: Beautiful Light" and then it has her bible verse. This was a matter of prayer for us. We spent a lot of time finding a verse that said everything we felt at that time. We decided on 2 Corinthians 4: 5-6. We used the Message. It's perfect. I suggest you read it;)
We knew Colt needed something similar. And so we poured over translations of Colt and Montgomery. We studied the names. Seriously, we are scholars now. It was a good deal of work. Colt's name plate reads "Colt Montgomery: young, powerful man of The Rock". (High five to us!) Now some of you will be more familiar with the verse we picked for Colt. I knew from the moment we began the conversation that I had the perfect verse for him.
This child was made by God, created with great purpose and promise. The verse we picked actually chose me years ago.
"This heap is a witness between me and thee this day. Therefore was the name of it called Galeed; and Mizpah; for he said The Lord watch between me and thee, when we are absent one from another." Genesis 31: 48-49 (King James)
Talk about bringing it all full circle, right?
Colt,
I will confess the goodness of God's great plan all the days of my life. You have brought healing, reassurance, comfort and peace to my life. You are a blessing and you were made with purpose, named with purpose and commissioned to go into the world with great purpose. Be a thoroughbred, baby boy. Be strong enough to have faith. Be confident enough to live and love with humility. I'll continue to pray for you as you join the world this week, take your first steps and walk off into your own life. Thank you for helping me grow into myself and into a deeper walk with God.
I love you so big,
Momma
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Third???? Trimester????
Already?
I'm not sure I'm ready for this baby bouncing business. 2 kids under 2 years old, under 14 months. I'm crazy, right? Don't answer that.
Colt Montgomery has had an excellent month. Sweet boy had an important ultrasound called a Fetal Echocardiogram. During this hour long procedure, the technician and doctor spent time admiring Colt's perfect heart. This visit provided us with a lot of assurances.
Colt's heart looks wonderful- in fact "beautiful" according to the doctor. It's nice to hear that his heart is unaffected by the diabetes.
Also, my son is definitely Daddy's little mini-me. He needed to show off and make his audience laugh during the ultrasound. Colt swung around his arms, heard his sister talking and moved his mouth like "blah blah blah", and push his tongue further out of his mouth than I knew was possible. This was also very reassuring, as he couldn't stick his tongue out that far if he was tongue tied. Lucy was tongue tied at birth, struggled with eating, went 2 days without a wet diaper and therefore had dangerously high jaundice levels that put her back in the hospital after birth. The pediatrician had to "clip" her frenulum in order to allow her to eat, but Colt will more than likely not have this issue. I'm hoping this will make breast feeding easier this go round.
Finally, just like his daddy, Colt held up both thumbs and made a goofy face for his photo. Typical Jason Colliver photo face. Apparently, typical Colt Colliver photo face too. It's reassuring that Colt already seems to have many of his daddy's characteristics. My guys will probably drive me crazy from time to time- and probably drive Lucy crazy even more often, but they're mine. I wouldn't have it any other way.
So I guess I might be crazy, but I'm crazy in love with my hubby and my babies. And I can't imagine a better way or time to further this crazy beautiful life. Thanks be to God for my sweet healthy boy. Check him out...
I'm not sure I'm ready for this baby bouncing business. 2 kids under 2 years old, under 14 months. I'm crazy, right? Don't answer that.
Colt Montgomery has had an excellent month. Sweet boy had an important ultrasound called a Fetal Echocardiogram. During this hour long procedure, the technician and doctor spent time admiring Colt's perfect heart. This visit provided us with a lot of assurances.
Colt's heart looks wonderful- in fact "beautiful" according to the doctor. It's nice to hear that his heart is unaffected by the diabetes.
Also, my son is definitely Daddy's little mini-me. He needed to show off and make his audience laugh during the ultrasound. Colt swung around his arms, heard his sister talking and moved his mouth like "blah blah blah", and push his tongue further out of his mouth than I knew was possible. This was also very reassuring, as he couldn't stick his tongue out that far if he was tongue tied. Lucy was tongue tied at birth, struggled with eating, went 2 days without a wet diaper and therefore had dangerously high jaundice levels that put her back in the hospital after birth. The pediatrician had to "clip" her frenulum in order to allow her to eat, but Colt will more than likely not have this issue. I'm hoping this will make breast feeding easier this go round.
Finally, just like his daddy, Colt held up both thumbs and made a goofy face for his photo. Typical Jason Colliver photo face. Apparently, typical Colt Colliver photo face too. It's reassuring that Colt already seems to have many of his daddy's characteristics. My guys will probably drive me crazy from time to time- and probably drive Lucy crazy even more often, but they're mine. I wouldn't have it any other way.
So I guess I might be crazy, but I'm crazy in love with my hubby and my babies. And I can't imagine a better way or time to further this crazy beautiful life. Thanks be to God for my sweet healthy boy. Check him out...
Love like your daddy
Lucy and Colt,
I'm excited to write this first letter to you both. I'm been planning it for quite some time. Today is a very special day in our family. Today is the day that your daddy and I first celebrated our marriage.
When we made our vows to each other, we were really making those to you as well. As we started our life as a family, it was very important that we remember our promise to love each other all the time so we could teach you how to also love endlessly.
I'm not the best example of unconditional love. By the time you read this, you'll be old enough to realize that I have a temper. I fly off the handle sometimes. It's worse when I'm tired or feel insecure. I worry. I get scared. I open my mouth without thinking first. There are times when my words hurt feelings. I'm not proud of this, but I want to be very honest here. I'm not perfect, but I am trying to be better... for all of us.
Your daddy constantly teaches me how to love better, bigger, stronger. Your daddy has such great big love for the two of you and for Poppy. He works hard to provide a safe place for you. He tries beyond his best to make your time together fun and important. Your daddy makes us a family.
My prayer for you, especially as you may someday want a family of our own, is that you'll learn to love like your daddy. Daddy remembers to say "I love you" every night before bed, at the end of every phone call, and a lot of times in between. Daddy likes to give hugs and kisses all the time. He never gets tired of holding us. Daddy likes to snuggle for naps and at bedtime. Daddy likes to play outside in the yard, at the pool, in the mud, with animals. He is a lot of fun. Daddy likes to try new things with us. He cooks, visits, reads and creates things that interest us. Daddy loves God above all else and treats all people with great acceptance and kindness. This is how you know and show true love. When someone loves God so much, they realize the way to show God that love is to pass it on to others. Daddy passes on his love to us all the time and this is how I hope you will learn to love.
I promise to keep growing and trying my very best every day so that I can be a good model of love also. Please remember that no matter what, when, where or how, Daddy and I love you both beyond measure. And we love each other and this family that we're growing. We are committed to giving you the life of love that you deserve, and part of that is loving each other so you learn how to treat your future family, one another, and anyone you meet.
I love you to the moon and back,
I love you for forever.
And if you ask if that could change,
My answer will always be "never"!
Happy 4th anniversary to my sweet husband and the wonderful father of my precious babies. I love you for always.
And sweet babies, I hope our love totally grosses you out. That will tell me that we're doing something right.
Love you so big,
Momma
I'm excited to write this first letter to you both. I'm been planning it for quite some time. Today is a very special day in our family. Today is the day that your daddy and I first celebrated our marriage.
When we made our vows to each other, we were really making those to you as well. As we started our life as a family, it was very important that we remember our promise to love each other all the time so we could teach you how to also love endlessly.
I'm not the best example of unconditional love. By the time you read this, you'll be old enough to realize that I have a temper. I fly off the handle sometimes. It's worse when I'm tired or feel insecure. I worry. I get scared. I open my mouth without thinking first. There are times when my words hurt feelings. I'm not proud of this, but I want to be very honest here. I'm not perfect, but I am trying to be better... for all of us.
Your daddy constantly teaches me how to love better, bigger, stronger. Your daddy has such great big love for the two of you and for Poppy. He works hard to provide a safe place for you. He tries beyond his best to make your time together fun and important. Your daddy makes us a family.
My prayer for you, especially as you may someday want a family of our own, is that you'll learn to love like your daddy. Daddy remembers to say "I love you" every night before bed, at the end of every phone call, and a lot of times in between. Daddy likes to give hugs and kisses all the time. He never gets tired of holding us. Daddy likes to snuggle for naps and at bedtime. Daddy likes to play outside in the yard, at the pool, in the mud, with animals. He is a lot of fun. Daddy likes to try new things with us. He cooks, visits, reads and creates things that interest us. Daddy loves God above all else and treats all people with great acceptance and kindness. This is how you know and show true love. When someone loves God so much, they realize the way to show God that love is to pass it on to others. Daddy passes on his love to us all the time and this is how I hope you will learn to love.
I promise to keep growing and trying my very best every day so that I can be a good model of love also. Please remember that no matter what, when, where or how, Daddy and I love you both beyond measure. And we love each other and this family that we're growing. We are committed to giving you the life of love that you deserve, and part of that is loving each other so you learn how to treat your future family, one another, and anyone you meet.
I love you to the moon and back,
I love you for forever.
And if you ask if that could change,
My answer will always be "never"!
Happy 4th anniversary to my sweet husband and the wonderful father of my precious babies. I love you for always.
And sweet babies, I hope our love totally grosses you out. That will tell me that we're doing something right.
Love you so big,
Momma
Monday, January 2, 2012
It seems the secret slipped!
So here's the deal... When we were close to our anatomy scan around 18 weeks, I felt very strongly that I did not want to learn Sprout's sex at the ultrasound. After all, I was 100% confident in my mommy intuition (which has said I'm pregnant with my son since I first took a pregnancy test). My sweet husband felt differently and being the incredible wife that I am, I agreed that he could find out. After all, I get to have these babies all to myself for a long time before he gets to hold and snuggle and bond with them. I understood his desire to know as much as possible about Sprout as soon as possible.
Add to that... We learned a few days before the ultrasound that I have gestational diabetes. It came on quick and is being well managed, but it does require a lot of extra ultrasounds. This makes it difficult to keep baby's sex a secret from momma, since I'll soon have a peek in there every week.
We wanted to do something very special at Sprout's scan, so we invited PaDon to join us. Nana and Grandma stayed with Momma and Daddy during Lucy's delivery and will more than likely do the same this go round, so we wanted to include PaDon somehow special.
The morning of the scan, we had no real plan for learning sex: other than we wanted to keep the news to ourselves as long as possible. And we wanted to tell people to see their reactions. Nana visited with PaDon and also attended the scan.
We have known since that morning just who we're expecting and have shared with close friends and family. However, it seems you can't tell a grandma to keep a secret this big. Not only have Nana and Grandma shared (well, at least them to my knowledge), but GG (Naomi's maternal grandmother) has told all the ladies at weight watchers... oh and most of our family. So, now that the holidays are over and we have seen plenty of people, enjoyed reactions and done some "damage control" on Facebook, I'm over the secret keeping. I'm just too busy and I haven't exactly gotten my "way" with any of this plan, soooooo....
During our scan, the tech asked if we wanted to know baby's sex. I hesitated (see above) but agreed. She wiggled baby a bit and then asked if I had any guesses. Guesses? No. I know I'm looking at my son. So I told her "I've thought all along that I'm having a boy." She just quietly and nonchalantly said "Yeah, he's definitely a boy."
I'm just over the moon that we'll have our sweet girl and our feisty boy! Here's your formal introduction to our son:
Colt Montgomery Colliver :)
P.S. As stated in an earlier blog, that means all the girl clothes are useless for now. If you're having a girl, come dig through my 6 bins of clothes and take some home! And send supplies for a boy:)
Add to that... We learned a few days before the ultrasound that I have gestational diabetes. It came on quick and is being well managed, but it does require a lot of extra ultrasounds. This makes it difficult to keep baby's sex a secret from momma, since I'll soon have a peek in there every week.
We wanted to do something very special at Sprout's scan, so we invited PaDon to join us. Nana and Grandma stayed with Momma and Daddy during Lucy's delivery and will more than likely do the same this go round, so we wanted to include PaDon somehow special.
The morning of the scan, we had no real plan for learning sex: other than we wanted to keep the news to ourselves as long as possible. And we wanted to tell people to see their reactions. Nana visited with PaDon and also attended the scan.
We have known since that morning just who we're expecting and have shared with close friends and family. However, it seems you can't tell a grandma to keep a secret this big. Not only have Nana and Grandma shared (well, at least them to my knowledge), but GG (Naomi's maternal grandmother) has told all the ladies at weight watchers... oh and most of our family. So, now that the holidays are over and we have seen plenty of people, enjoyed reactions and done some "damage control" on Facebook, I'm over the secret keeping. I'm just too busy and I haven't exactly gotten my "way" with any of this plan, soooooo....
During our scan, the tech asked if we wanted to know baby's sex. I hesitated (see above) but agreed. She wiggled baby a bit and then asked if I had any guesses. Guesses? No. I know I'm looking at my son. So I told her "I've thought all along that I'm having a boy." She just quietly and nonchalantly said "Yeah, he's definitely a boy."
I'm just over the moon that we'll have our sweet girl and our feisty boy! Here's your formal introduction to our son:
Colt Montgomery Colliver :)
P.S. As stated in an earlier blog, that means all the girl clothes are useless for now. If you're having a girl, come dig through my 6 bins of clothes and take some home! And send supplies for a boy:)
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